Why I love him

Pressure

Pressure. Some of it is society induced but most of it is my own damn fault.

I carry a lot of worry and guilt. I need to let it go.

I can only do what I can do. Others have their limits too and I need to adjust my expectations. I need to take people as what they are right now not what I hope they could be. I need to stop worrying what others think of me. I need to say "no" sometimes and be clear about my expectations and needs.

I need to be more patient. I need to change. And I need you to hold me accountable.

I you notice that I am worrying needlessly or if I share guilty feelings or taking on too much or expecting too much from others - tell me to stop. These are lifelong habits and it will take time to break them. I do need to improve myself though. My family and friends deserve better as do I.

*the preceding was not directed at anyone in particular other than myself. Do not be offended (see there I go with the worrying and guilt again)!

The world is immensely unjust

I didn't sleep for shit last night and am not sure when I will again. My head feels so full of thoughts. My neck is incredibly tight with tension.

My heart is broken for a dear friend. Her beautiful family could use prayers and good thoughts and all your love directed towards them.

Kiss your babies and count your blessings this day.

Grocery list for a gluten free family

A couple people asked what kind of foods we eat now that we are gluten and lactose free (as well as avoiding soy, garlic, peanuts, citrus, and cranberries).

I already had and didn't purchase today:
milk (lactose free and regular whole for everyone else)
yogurt, kefir, and sour cream starter
a few varieties of dried beans
rice, millet, and oats
flours (brown rice, tapioca, potato starch, millet, sorghum)
some canned and frozen veggies and fruits as well as a few fresh like onions and carrots
spices, salt, broths, and condiments
frozen sausage
corn tortillas
eggs
various oils

Today I purchase the following for under $130 (at Winco)

Veggies and fruit:
2lb bag of baby greens
1lb of baby spinach
2 lbs of cameo apples
2 lbs of bananas
mango
1lb pears
frozen blueberries and blackberries, 1lb each
sage
1lb snap peas
head of broccoli
carrots
pico de gallo
baby portabellos
1lb baby red potatoes
tomatoes

Meat:
ground beef 4lbs
ground pork 2 lbs (pork and beef are to make meatballs for Amara's birthday)
sirloin steak
frozen chicken 4lbs
roastbeef and ham lunchmeat

Dairy:
vanilla and huckleberry yogurt (my kids don't like my homemade version)
cream
cheddar 2lbs

Dry goods:
1 box rice mac n cheese (bday lunch request)
corn chips
chex, oat O's, and shredded wheat cereals (for when I'm too tired to cook breakfast)
applesauce
wheat crackers
mini rice cakes
chocolate (to make the bday cake)
Asian rice crackers

Frozen:
Breakfast sandwiches (shawn takes these to work)
burritos (shawn takes these to work)

Other:
1 box sandwich bags
1 box freezer bags
plates and napkins for the bday party
paper towels (we use some in addition to mostly using cloth)
cheese cloth (to turn that yogurt and kefir into cream cheese)


This will last 2 weeks but we will need more greens and probably more fruit but my fridge can only hold so much plus greens aren't tasty for that long! Of course in 2 weeks we will be receiving our CSA and then this total will be less.

ETA: As I look at this it seems like a lot of meat but this will actually produce many meat free meals. Nearly all breakfasts are meat free, most lunches are meat free, but we usually have meat with dinner.