Birthdays

There are a lot of birthdays coming up for the people in my life this month. December feels like a whirlwind month with Thanksgiving just over and Christmas coming up but I don't want anyone to miss out on a special day for celebrating their birth.

My birthday is in just about 2 months. I'll be 29. I feel wholly unprepared to be almost 30. I thought that at 30 I'd have it together. I thought I'd own a house, have a couple of cars, a career, money in the bank, be traveled and educated, and feel like a real adult. I don't have any of those things though.

I need to change my expectations. Life for me seems different than the life of my parents. My mom made different choices than me (partially from choice and I think partially they were good choices) and different options. My mom chose a career, a well paying one too. From that career she was able to afford a nice house, a couple of cars, several vacations a year, and really any reasonable thing she wanted. It certainly had it's costs though. She worked shift work and there were always a few days a week that she was completely exhausted and missed out on everything. Her mom cared for my siblings and me because my mom was unavailable to do so. She had a terrible marriage to an emotionally and verbally abusive man.

I think I'd rather take my 29 than hers. Even if I don't have a house of my own.